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Post by dancingwind on Dec 28, 2005 9:34:21 GMT
Profiting from Mistakes
"Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a parishioner asked his minister.
"Definitely not," was the preacher's answer.
"Are you absolutely certain?"
"Yes, my son, absolutely."
"Okay. In that case, I wonder if you'd mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?"
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Post by stef on Dec 28, 2005 11:36:34 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by mikilangela on Dec 28, 2005 15:55:39 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by dancingwind on Dec 30, 2005 14:34:41 GMT
I Stand at the Door ;D
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. (Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he will with me.")
The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10" ("And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."). ;D ;D ;D
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Post by dancingwind on Dec 31, 2005 10:57:39 GMT
Vatican Fried Chicken During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "Give us this day our daily bread" to "Give us this day our daily chicken," and Kentucky Fried Chicken will donate $10,000,000 to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. Two weeks later, the man approached the Pope again - this time with a $50,000,000 offer. Again, the Pope declined. A month later, the man upped the price to $100,000,000, and this time the Pope accepted. At a meeting of the Cardinals, the Pope announced his decision in the good news/bad news format. "The good news is: We have $100,000,000 for charities. The bad news: We lost the Wonder Bread account."
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Post by dancingwind on Jan 1, 2006 9:44:37 GMT
Goat for Dinner ;D
The young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"
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Post by dancingwind on Jan 2, 2006 12:56:34 GMT
Who's Art in Heaven?
"It's no use. Art doesn't listen to me," said a little boy who was praying for a new bike.
"Art who?" asked the boy's mother.
"Art in heaven," came the reply.
;D ;D
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Post by dancingwind on Jan 13, 2006 11:28:16 GMT
The Children of Israel "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out." "What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt. "Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?" "Right.""And the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?" "Er, right." "And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?" "Again you're right." "And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?" "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?" "What were all the grown-ups doing?"
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