|
Post by Ole on Mar 23, 2006 14:27:44 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by pearl on Apr 15, 2006 7:02:49 GMT
Moral Lesson A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
************************************************************************************
Dinner Blessing
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner
|
|
|
Post by stef on Apr 15, 2006 9:20:37 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Thanks for the giggle pearl love stef
|
|
|
Post by saisri on Apr 15, 2006 10:08:29 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Thank you Pearl ;D ;D
Sridevi
|
|
|
Post by Ole on Apr 15, 2006 12:52:41 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Good ones ;D ;D
Love Ole
|
|
|
Post by enivid on May 27, 2006 21:56:24 GMT
Two psychics bumped into each other whilst out walking one day. The first one said to the other, "you're feeling fine today, how am I?
|
|
|
Post by stef on May 28, 2006 3:34:23 GMT
Two psychics bumped into each other whilst out walking one day. The first one said to the other, "you're feeling fine today, how am I? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D It's 4.30am.........I've just got home after a long day and a long drive.........thanks for the laugh. love stef
|
|
|
Post by pearl on Jun 13, 2006 19:15:33 GMT
There was a little old lady who was very spiritual who would step out on her porch every day, raise her arms to the sky and yell "Praise the Lord."
One day, an atheist bought the house next door to her, and he became very irritated with the spiritual lady. So after a month or so of her yelling, "Praise the Lord" from her porch, he went outside on his porch and yelled back, "There is no Lord."
Yet, the little old lady continued.
One cold, wintry day, when the little old lady couldn’t get to the store, she went out on her porch, raised her hands up to the sky and said, "Help me Lord, I have no more money, it’s cold, and I have no more food."
The next morning, she went outside, and there were three bags of food on the porch, enough to last her a week. "Praise the Lord," she yelled.
The Atheist stepped out from the bushes and said, "There is no Lord hahaha, I bought those groceries!"
(hold on...the ending is pretty good!). ...................
....................
....................
....................
The little old lady raised her arms to the sky and said, "Praise the Lord, you sent me groceries and you made the Devil pay for them!"
|
|
|
Post by stef on Jun 13, 2006 22:01:48 GMT
love stef
|
|
|
Post by jadeart on Jun 14, 2006 2:58:36 GMT
Oh my God thats just hillarious!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by stef on Jun 26, 2006 9:59:14 GMT
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
|
|
|
Post by stef on Jul 1, 2006 8:28:37 GMT
Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?" The other one replies: "I'm fine, thanks." "And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?" "Yes, he is. But he is meditating now." "Meditating? What's that?" "I dont know. But it's better than sitting around doing nothing!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by pearl on Jul 7, 2006 14:45:40 GMT
Husband came from church, lifted his wife up and carried her around. Wife: Did Father tell u to be romantic. Husband: No! he told me to carry my own sorrows!
|
|
|
Post by Warrior Spirit on May 10, 2007 16:16:32 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D I've been reading these for awhile now. Man...I love a good laugh!
|
|
|
Post by Astral on Jun 10, 2007 2:08:52 GMT
Can you imagine yourself to be the nun that is sitting at her desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure! PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING.
IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS.
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT.
AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA.
THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE,
WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU.
HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THETOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY,
HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
|
|