Post by Michael on Mar 29, 2005 11:33:00 GMT
From a text in: PaRama - School of philosophy and life science
<excerpt>
For example, if you have a small child who is having problems at school there are various ways of addressing the situation. You can worry about him or you can admonish him. If your stance is either of these you are involved, and any resulting action will be from the premise of your relationship with the child.
“How can I help him feel better?”<br>“Why can’t he be more like other children?”<br>“What have I done to cause this?”<br>“How can I help him?” etc.
Either way you will appear to fuss over the child and your interaction is one that is fuelled by the need to attain a specific result. As soon as need is combined with intent, focus is lost. This is because your mind is split between personal fears (over-reactions) and personal expectations.
An alternative way of dealing with a child’s problem is to remain present to the situation, consulting the child as to his feelings. Then you may offer the child various options as to how to resolve the issue. The child may ask you to intervene, or may discover a way of dealing with things on his own. Either way, the interaction between parent and child has been exactly that—an interaction. Not two over-reactions. The child has participated in decision-making with the parent. Whatever the outcome, it is more likely to be one that occurs via mutual, focused, practical steps rather than involved over-reaction.
</excerpt>
Interesting on the topic of being present in the now...
love
Michael
<excerpt>
For example, if you have a small child who is having problems at school there are various ways of addressing the situation. You can worry about him or you can admonish him. If your stance is either of these you are involved, and any resulting action will be from the premise of your relationship with the child.
“How can I help him feel better?”<br>“Why can’t he be more like other children?”<br>“What have I done to cause this?”<br>“How can I help him?” etc.
Either way you will appear to fuss over the child and your interaction is one that is fuelled by the need to attain a specific result. As soon as need is combined with intent, focus is lost. This is because your mind is split between personal fears (over-reactions) and personal expectations.
An alternative way of dealing with a child’s problem is to remain present to the situation, consulting the child as to his feelings. Then you may offer the child various options as to how to resolve the issue. The child may ask you to intervene, or may discover a way of dealing with things on his own. Either way, the interaction between parent and child has been exactly that—an interaction. Not two over-reactions. The child has participated in decision-making with the parent. Whatever the outcome, it is more likely to be one that occurs via mutual, focused, practical steps rather than involved over-reaction.
</excerpt>
Interesting on the topic of being present in the now...
love
Michael
