Life's Passions

[ruth]

So many people have passions in life. Some have them about cars, others its medicine or the holistic field, but at 45 years of age I am struggling with who do I want to be when I grow up.

This is no secret on this forum that I have been looking for another job. I am not happy where I am. So I asked myself today, what do I love? and for along as I can remember....I never have had a true passion about anything in life. Sure there are things that I want to do, but I had to put them on hold in February when I found out that I could lose my job. Than I thought, wow finally something that I can do and still be where I am at. Not the case. I had to cancel everything.

I see that some people do have it way worse than me and I acknowledge this with sorrow in my heart. I am fortunate that I am employed and this one boss I have is amazing. However the company has taken a turn to which I feel makes the company vulnerable to failure. I need to look out for my future.

I have been seeking for the last 5 months. Some days total tears in my eyes, while others nothing but joy.

I can't seem to figure out and I had this problem in high school on what do I want to do with my life. This is the reason I never went to college because I never knew and still don't.

I hear amazing things about places where others are at and wonder if that's a good fit, but when I leave it will not be for something temporary with days economy, someone who is in desperate need of a job needs that until I can find my passion.

I have no clue on what to do, where to go....I have done it all in searching and have been given much needed advice on networking, resume writing, etc.

I still find that my heart is not leading me, maybe because I am a free spirit and I go where spirit takes me. I go where the work needs to be done, than its time for me to move on and I do.

Basically...........I feel lost. Hmm maybe thats the wrong word, umm...just not attached to any one desire. IS this wrong?

Are there others out there like me? Or do I talk myself into loving where I am at until things go downhill than my feelings change?

Advice please!

love
ruth

[sidney33]

Dear Ruth
There is a time in life called the mid life crisis. Sounds like you may have hit it. I am not qualified to give advice I have made more mistakes too many to count Then again maybe that qualifies me. I think we all come to a crossroads in life some of us more than once I do believe we make small decisions every day and it all adds up. I think if we can learn to let all the small worries roll over our head it helps. I know a job is important we all have to eat. A job we can enjoy doing is rare and I know self esteem and pride and I have found them to be false. A job is a Job no more no less. I recall many years ago I was working for a very large building company .And it went broke. The new owner went round all the staff and asked them how dedicated they were to their job .when they got round to me I said I was a mercenary I work for money I know my Job however I do it for the pay you don’t pay me I am gone the new owner said so if I say jump you Jump. I replied how well I am paid determines how high. He gave a laugh and made me an offer to stay a real good one. Out of four hundred and sixty employees I was the only one kept on. I know this story will most likely not be of help to you as we all make our own decisions as I am sure you will make the right one for you.
With the intent of good wishes Sidney.

[misty]

Wow, that is almost describing me and my 'unsettled' feelings at the moment! Lost / unattached is a good way to describe it too - and I am an extremely creative person but although I feel an urgent need to create - I just cannot get going on anything - be it art, handwork or even my herb garden.... could it be related to 'something in the air'? I refuse to believe it is the present economic climate.

[ruth]

This is a soul transformation process. (Michael Mirdad book; You're not going crazy, you're just waking up) ( I think that is the correct title) This is nothing new to me, I do understand it more and more as the years pass.

We are perfectly normal to say the least

SInce I posted and saw my words (self therapy) I think I have figured out that I am a free spirit. I go where I need to go, do the work that I do and bring to them me. Once my job is done there, I move on. In between those times is when I feel lost.

I always have someone who will call me and something comes my way. There have been times when I had to work there and just throw myself to them. So this is another time in my life where I know I need to move on. Right now I am just being inpatient and want it 'now'....lol silly me to think that life gives us our demands at any time we demand them......Life gives it to us when life feels we need them.

Thank you for your kindness.

love
ruth

[unicorn]

Dear Ruth, you said it your self "life gives it to us when life feels we need them". Trust the Higher power. In the end you will find what you really want, and you'll THEN see, that it happened in the most perfect time. And it is going to be better than you ever thought possible.

[ruth]

So true..........so very very true!

Thank you!