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Post by stef on May 9, 2005 11:32:13 GMT
Anger cannot be overcome with anger. If a person shows anger to you, and you respond with anger, the result is disastrous. In contrast, if you control the anger and show opposite attitudes - compassion, tolerance, and patience - then not only do you yourself remain in peace, but the other's anger will gradually diminish. Dalai Lama: Kindness, Clarity and Insight. love stef
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Post by Michael on May 26, 2005 19:25:38 GMT
yes dear. that is the way keep breathing Michael
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Post by chynacariba on Jun 3, 2005 11:03:04 GMT
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Post by dancingwind on Jul 24, 2005 11:43:25 GMT
Dealing with Anger Thich Nhat Hanh’s steps of mindfulness Step 1: Mindfulness of the Emotion "We can say to ourselves, "Breathing in, I know that anger is in me. Breathing out I know that I am my anger." Or "Breathing in, I know that anger is in me. Breathing out I know that I must put all my energy into caring for my anger." When we are angry . . . We are the anger Do not judge or repress the anger Focus on the self, not on the other as an older sister cares for a younger sister, as a gardener sees with insight and non-dual vision the potential beauty of compost, Gradually we can transform the anger completely into peace, love, and understanding To cool down: Take a walk outside, meditating: Breathing in, I know that anger is here. Breathing out, I know that the anger is me. Breathing in, I know that anger is unpleasant Breathing out, I know this feeling will pass. Breathing in, I am calm. Breathing out, I am strong enough to take care of this anger. From understanding to compassion When we are calm enough to look directly at the anger, we can begin to see its root causes: misunderstanding, clumsiness, injustice, resentment, or conditioning. Taking time, perhaps half an hour, to be mindful of the anger, transforms it. "Seeing and understanding are the elements of liberation that bring about love and compassion." The roots of anger The primary roots are in ourselves: our lack of understanding of these causes of anger our desire, pride, agitation, and suspicion The secondary roots are in the other. When we understand the factors that led to the other’s behavior, we can respond with help or discipline from a place of compassion. Becoming free of knots (internal formations) We learn to become aware of problematic reactions, handling them promptly and easily in the present. We learn to let past problematic experiences come to mindfulness . Practicing of breathing and smiling, we learn to look at our difficult emotions without having to turn away from them, seeing the associations based on past experience.
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Post by stef on Jul 24, 2005 11:59:00 GMT
Hi dancingwind Thanks for that I've been reading a lot of Thich Nhat Hanh recently. It all makes very good sense and is very calming ;D love stef
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Post by dancingwind on Oct 3, 2005 19:10:47 GMT
Dealing with anger
“The starting point of everything that everybody does is the search of happiness. We want happy lives that are full of joy, health and prosperity and free from difficulties and distractions. For that reason we work hard to earn money for material comfort and try our best to develop relationships that will bring us what we want. If you carefully examine your life, I think you’ll find it so for you, because, quite simply, it is true for everyone. Buddhism does not deny that external things have the possibility to aid us in being happy, but from the Buddhist perspective, the happiness external things can bring is very limited. Happiness is a state of mind, not a new car or partner. As such it can only be developed through changing our attitudes and habits, not through manipulation of our external environment. It is our internal resources - our love, patience, tolerance and understanding - that have the power to bring us lasting and deep happiness and to reduce and finally eliminate the negative states that bring us suffering... Anger is a negative emotion. It is unhealthy. We don’t need teachers or books to tell us that. We can all see that being angry brings so many problems for ourselves and others... However, there is a definite route out of our negative states of mind, if we have patience and persistence and if we put the right effort into using the right method.”
Written by Geshe Tashi Tsering, resident monk at Jamyang Buddhist Centre Kennington, London, Dealing with anger is the first of a two part article discussing anger and how it is possible to overcome it.
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Post by dancingwind on Nov 3, 2005 17:25:37 GMT
How to Cure 'Destructive Emotions'
Daniel Goleman finds in Buddhism a possible cure-all for anger, depression, and more. Interview by Rebecca Phillips
What exactly do you mean by 'destructive emotions'?
Destructive emotions refer to an emotion that leads us to do something that harms ourselves or someone else. The premise [of the meeting] was that there are helpful insights from both the deep spiritual wisdom of Buddhism and from modern findings in science, and that each might inform the other.
What emotions are included?
Almost any emotion can become destructive. Even too much happiness, if it's manic excitement, can lead us to do destructive things. But we're mainly talking about anger, paralyzing fear, and depression. Most of the discussions focused on anger, but we also had presentations on, for example, craving and addiction.
Are there times when some of those emotions can be positive?
Anger, from an evolutionary point of view, serves a purpose. It's helped us survive. Anger is quite appropriate in response to an injustice or a wrong that needs to be righted. But, as the Dalai Lama pointed out, if you're going to be effective in responding to what makes you angry, you need to keep the focus and energy of the anger, but drop the anger itself in order to act more skillfully. So the point of this research is not necessarily that people won't experience these emotions, but that we'll be able to deal with them better?
Yes. The point is to find ways to help people--and not just Buddhists, but anybody--handle their destructive emotions more effectively.
The first chapter explains that researchers found, through studying a Buddhist monk, Öser, that meditation was a way to control these emotions. But Öser is someone who meditates all the time. How can a lay person benefit from meditation?
The research in the first chapter showed some extraordinary effects from long-term meditation. He is completely unresponsive, for example, when he hears a gun, or a sound like a gunshot. Everybody else startles. But Öser had amazing mastery over his emotional reactivity, and he can generate positive emotion. In fact, his baseline for emotion--his everyday baseline--is in the positive range.
But that doesn't mean this is only for people with time for huge, intensive practice. The other research underway now is looking at beginners. And now that we know what to look for, we're starting to see similar shifts in people who are just in the first two months of meditating. In another study of meditation, they taught it to highly stressed workers at a tech firm. The researchers found that they shifted the brain set-point for emotions from the "distressed zone" to the "good zone." That was after two months of an hour [of meditation] a day.
It has to be daily meditation?
Yes, daily meditation. Daily practice is key.
Other than meditation, are you aware of any other spiritual practices that might help achieve this shift in the brain?
The only one we know so far is mindfulness meditation. That's the only one that's been tested. We don't know what else of the many practices these lamas have done or have studied over the years might account for any of the specific effects we're seeing.
Did you discuss what effect Buddhist practice can have on constructive emotions?
Many of the practices are about generating positive emotions like compassion, lovingkindness, a sense of joy in other people's happiness. One of the points that was made was that American psychology should focus more on positive emotions and helping people learn how to reduce their quantity of negative, destructive emotions and experience more positive emotions day-to-day.
That seems to be happening with the positive psychology movement.
Of course, within the last few years we've had that whole movement toward positive psychology. But it turns out there's a very useful set of methods in Buddhism and other spiritual traditions for doing this that have been around for centuries. The Dalai Lama said, 'Look, study our methods and if you find anything that is of use to people, that will alleviate their suffering or make them happier, take it out of the Buddhist context and share it widely.'
How can you reach out to psychiatrists and psychologists about this?
The way to do that is through sound research and publishing in a psychiatry journal.
So you will keep it in the scientific realm. Are the participants in the 2000 meeting continuing this research?
Most of the scientists in the meeting have been inspired to go on and bring this back into their own work. Richard Davidson, for example, at the University of Wisconsin, is regularly bringing advanced practitioners into his lab to study their brains using state-of-the-art brain-imaging methods. Several of the other researchers are doing programs. Paul Ekman at the University of California, San Francisco, is now piloting a program with teachers and nurses to teach them 'mindfulness' as a way of helping them to manage their lives and work better and to have more positive emotions.
Do you think there would be fewer people on anti-depressants if more people meditated?
Yes, I do. That would be a great experiment to try.
Will people be more skeptical about this method than they would about trying medication?
I think people are open to it. The Dalai Lama is quite smart in saying, 'Look at all this through a scientific lens, and if science validates the method then publish it and share that.'
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Post by stef on Nov 4, 2005 15:45:48 GMT
Hi Brigitte Thanks for finding that..... Anger is just an emotion.....you have control over your emotions..... Everytime you feel anger.....try to change that emotion into something more positive and constructive.....with practise it becomes much easier ;D love stef
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Post by anand on Nov 30, 2005 10:16:50 GMT
Why dont we coin a new percept: "Whenever we are angry, REIKI flows through us to dissolve anger into love" love anand
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Post by dancingwind on Nov 30, 2005 12:10:46 GMT
Why dont we coin a new percept: "Whenever we are angry, REIKI flows through us to dissolve anger into love" love anand Dear Anand! Yes, that´s very wise spoken.... If let Reiki flow into our anger we can´t be angy anymore. much love, Brigitte
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